


It Was Only For You

by Sasa_Q



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: M/M, lots of yearning, one-sided
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:28:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25929664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasa_Q/pseuds/Sasa_Q
Summary: The Q Continuum tells Q that he will only get one more chance to speak to Captain Picard. Naturally, Q panics.
Relationships: Jean-Luc Picard/Q
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38
Collections: Star Trek Bingo Summer 2020





	It Was Only For You

It was a dull day on the starship Enterprise. The ship was on her way to Starbase 171 for standard repairs, and Jean-Luc Picard was in his quarters reading "A Midsummer Night's Dream" for what felt like the millionth time. He sat on his bed, a small cup of Earl Grey tea on his nightstand. He was at the part where the theatre troupe was practicing in the woods when suddenly there was a bright flash of white light and who else but Q appeared, wearing a red Starfleet uniform with at least a dozen pips on the collar.

"Q," said Picard. "What is it now?"

For some reason, Q looked terribly frantic. There was a frightened, wild look in his eyes. "The Continuum," he said. "They're going to- they're going to-"

"Slow down, Q," said Picard, closing "A Midsummer Night's Dream". The bumbling theatre troupe would have to wait. "What's the matter now?"

Q seemed to be hyperventilating. "The Continuum- they told me that I should speak to you."

"What's the matter with that?" asked Picard.

Q collapsed on the end of Picard's bed. "They said that this will be the last time I will ever speak to you," he said. "Do you understand what this means? They're going to kill you! Or take my powers away! Oh, I don't know which is worse!"

Picard decided to ignore that last part. "I doubt the Continuum would actually kill me," he said. Take Q's powers away? Probably. Kill Picard? No.

"You don't understand," said Q in desperation. "They're furious at me."

"Care to tell me why?" asked Picard.

It was as if Q hadn't heard him. Or, perhaps, he had. "If the Continuum says this is the last time I'll ever speak to you, they mean it," he said.

"I'll try to trust you on that," said Picard. "But, to be frank, you've lied to me before."

"I would never lie about something like this," Q said. He paused. "Well, I probably would. But I'm not lying now!"

"Let's assume that you're not lying," said Picard.

"Which I'm not," said Q. He heaved a sigh. "I suppose this means I have something to tell you."

"Mon dieu. What is it now, Q?"

Q frowned. "This is horrible timing. But since I'll never talk to you again, I suppose I just have to out and say it."

Oh no, Picard thought. He couldn't even imagine what horrible thing Q was about to say to him. The Q Continuum is planning to destroy Earth? The Borg are coming? I'm actually dead, and all of this has been a simulation by the Q?

"I love you," said Q.

"What?" Picard said. He didn't even realize he had said it, it was just an instinctual reaction. "Really? That's it?"

"That's it? What do you mean, that's it? I just confessed the worst secret of my life, and you say, 'that's it'?" Q exclaimed.

"I suppose I wasn't expecting it," said Picard. Then he thought about his interactions with Q over the years. "Actually, perhaps that helps explain some things."

"I knew it ever since I met you," said Q. He sounded as if he was being tortured, as if someone was prying the information from him. "What do the humans call it? Love at first sight? It's a terrible thing, really, it is!"

"I'll take your word for it," said Picard.

"I'm immortal," said Q. "I don't know what death feels like, but I swear that it feels like this, because I love you so much it's killing me."

"Q..." Picard said. He didn't know what to say, so the word, the letter, really, just trailed off.

"Don't worry, mon capitaine," said Q, his voice bitter. "I don't expect you to say you love me back. I know you don't. There's no need to lie to me, even if this is really our last time we're going to speak to each other. I know you'll never love me back. That's why it hurts so much."

"Q, this is... a lot," said Picard.

"The Q Continuum has declared that I'll never have another chance to say this to you, so that's why I'm telling you," said Q. "You need to know. You deserve to know. And... I deserve this. I know it might seem as if I've been absolutely horrible towards you, and perhaps I have, but I'm a Q. We don't have emotions like humans do. Oh, we have emotions, but they're so strong they could explode planets. You mortals wouldn't be able to handle these feelings."

"Q," said Picard, "I don't think you're able to handle your feelings very well, either."

"Maybe that's true," said Q. He sighed. "I wish I was as eloquent as that Shakespeare man you love so much. I might show it in ways you don't understand, but I care about you so much. I'd never let anything bad happen to you, not really."

"What about that time with the Borg?" asked Picard.

"Oh, you weren't in any real danger," said Q.

"People died," said Picard hotly. "People died, and all you cared about was that I, that I, wasn't in danger?"

"See, that's where we have our differences," said Q. "And I'm trying to compensate for them, really, I am. I'm trying to, how do you say, learn from my mistakes. Doing that is especially hard to do when you don't believe you've made mistakes in the first place, but ah well."

"I hope you don't expect me to say I love you back," said Picard.

"Of course I don't," said Q. "I already said that." He paused. "No. No, I wish you would. I really wish you would."

"I thought so," said Picard. He stood. He didn't care that he was in his pajamas or that he might not exactly look intimidating to Q. "Q, I can say, with all of my heart, that I not only don't love you, I hate you. If I've ever hated in my life, it was only for you."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Q said winningly.

"Dammit, Q, it wasn't a compliment! I try not to be a hateful person but... but I hate you!" Picard was getting truly frustrated now. "You have put myself and my crew in danger, and have toyed with us for years. Frankly? I'm sick of it. If this is the last time that I'll ever speak with you, good! I hope you know I won't miss you."

"You see, that's the problem," said Q. "When you say that, it just makes me love you even more. I love the way you hate me because I love how passionate you are. I wish you could see yourself. You're beautiful when you're angry at me. Then again, you're beautiful all the time, but I digress."

"Q," said Picard in a warning tone, "I'm sick and tired of you. If you think that your perverse love for me would make me like you in any capacity, you are sorrily wrong. And if you keep talking to me in this manner, you're going to WISH it was the last time I'll ever speak to you."

Q's face softened. "Fine," he said. "But I stand by what I said. I don't care what you think and what the Continuum thinks. I do love you."

He snapped his fingers once and stood there looking confused. He snapped his fingers again.

"Are you quite all right?" Picard asked, taking a sip from his cup of Earl Grey.

"No," said Q, his voice troubled. "I was going to vanish from here and leave you alone, but I can't seem to-"

Suddenly, without warning, half a dozen other people materialized in Picard's quarters. Picard startled and sloshed tea on his nightshirt. The people all appeared to be human, of varying gender, and they were all wearing nondescript clothing. If Picard stared at any of them too long, he swore he could see galaxies in their eyes.

"Q," said Picard, suddenly very aware that was in his rather skimpy pajamas in front of seven people, "who are these people?"

"Q?" Q said to the people, ignoring him. "Wy are you all here? Why aren't my powers working? What's going on?"

"Will someone answer me?" Picard asked, frustrated. "Who are you people and why are you here in my quarters? Q, did you bring these people here?"

"These are some of my brothers and sisters of the Q Continuum," said Q to Picard, folding his arms. "And I have no more idea what's going on than you do."

"You like tests, don't you, Q?" one of the Qs asked the Q who Picard was familiar with. "Can't you tell a test when you see one?"

"What do you mean, a test?" Q asked.

"You've been put on, Q," said another Q snidely.

"You mean- you mean this ISN'T the last time I'll ever speak to Picard?" Q exclaimed. "You sending me here- it was all a joke?!"

"Not just a joke," said one of the Qs. "A test. Tests aren't so fun when you're the one taking them, are they, Q?"

"Someone tell me what in the hell is going on, or get out of my quarters and take your argument elsewhere!" Picard shouted, quite irritated now.

"Now, now, Captain Picard, your quarters are the perfect place for this argument," said one of the other Qs. "You, after all, are the reason for this test."

"Will you just speak plainly?" said Picard. He was beginning to see where Q got his irritating attitude.

"The test," said one of the Qs, "was to see if Q would admit his extremely disgusting affection for you under the threat that the two of you would never speak again. Congratulations, Q. You passed the test."

"This was all to see if I would admit that I love Picard?" Q said.

"Exactly," said one of the other Qs smugly.

"You bastards!" Q cried. "I can't believe you would do this to me! You can't possibly begin to even imagine how embarrassed I am right now! You just made me admit my love for a mortal!"

"No one made you admit anything, Q," said one of the Qs. "You did it yourself."

"Well, what happens now?" Q said. "You imprison me? Take away my powers? Turn me into a mortal?"

"Nothing so brutal... yet," said a Q. "For now, we're just going to let you live with the knowledge that Captain Picard knows you love him. That should be humiliating enough, I think."

"You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go explode a planet," Q decided.

Picard, along with all the other Qs, shouted, "Q, no!"

"Fine!" said Q. "The lot of you are no fun."

"Have fun with your human," said one of the other Qs. "We'll leave the two of you to discuss your feelings." The six other Qs disappeared in a large flash of bright white light.

"I'm not 'his human'!" Picard exclaimed, offended, as they left.

At the same time, Q said, "I hate all of you!"

But the other Qs were gone.

Q collapsed on Picard's bed. "I can't believe this," he said furiously. "The Continuum was just testing me! Humiliating me on purpose!"

"Get off my bed, Q," said Picard.

Q got off Picard's bed. "I hate feeling this way! Shame- is this feeling shame? Whatever it is, I despise it! I'm leaving." He went to snap his fingers to disappear, but Picard grabbed his arm.

"Wait," said Picard. "I think we have something we need to talk about."

"I already told you everything," Q said. "Now, get your hand off me, because it's making me feel a way you wouldn't like." Picard removed his hand from Q's arm. "Thank you. Now, what do we need to talk about?"

"We need to talk about what we're going to do now," said Picard. "What we're going to do now that you've admitted your feelings for me. Would you like to pretend nothing ever happened?"

"You'd do that for me?" Q asked.

"Not for you," said Picard. "For me and my peace of mind."

"Yes," said Q. Then, he hesitated. "No."

"No?" Picard repeated.

"I don't want to pretend I never told you I loved you," Q said. "It happened. And I could even change it to make it so it never happened, but I don't want to. Even if it was just the Continuum toying with me, I'm... glad I told you. It hurts to hold secrets. Is it like that for humans, too?"

"Yes," said Picard, "I suppose it is. So. What would you like us to do?"

"I wish you loved me," said Q. There was a quality in his voice that sounded pained. "But since you don't... just..." He sighed. "Just keep it to yourself. Don't tell your Counselor Troi or anyone else. Just... just know that I love you. Maybe one day you'll accept it."

Picard thought it over. "What if I never accept it?" he asked.

"You will. One day," said Q. He held out his hand. "Is it a deal?"

Picard shook his hand. Q had a surprisingly firm handshake. "It's a deal."

"Thank you, Jean-Luc," said Q. He squeezed Picard's hand and then let go. "Until next time."

"Until next time."

Q vanished in a burst of bright white light. With a sigh, Picard sat back down on his bed. He couldn't find his place in his copy of "A Midsummer Night's Dream". Suddenly, it flipped open to a random page.

Picard read aloud: "Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind. And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."

"Q," Picard said in a warning tone.

"Fine, Jean-Luc," came Q's voice in Picard's head. "You're no fun."


End file.
